The Power of Acceptance: Embracing Change for a Brighter Future
Forgiveness is Part of Recovery[/caption]In the last film, Recovery and the Family,Father Martin helped us understand the importance of each family member taking responsibility for themselves and showed us how that helps the alcoholic recover as well. In Recovery and Forgiveness, Father Martin focuses on what forgiveness really means. He discusses the impact of forgiveness on recovery for the alcoholic and for the family members and loved ones that have also been part of the whole process.
In the first part, Father Martin explains what morality is and its usefulness. He also points out a very new way to view guilt. Father Martin makes it clear that humans do things first to please themselves. All of that is fine unless a certain line is crossed. If in order to please oneself, the person goes against the established rules, it becomes an inner conflict between the good intended heart and the ego. According to Father Martin, guilt kicks in when we are ashamed of something we have done that on some level doesn't coincide with our moral convictions. This means we can view guilt as a useful tool, which let’s us know when we have broken the rules.Father Martin introduces us to the important concept of doing a personal inventory of ourselves. In the 12 Steps, this is Step 4. Primarily, we realize what harm we have caused. We will be one step closer to coming in terms with our past. Furthermore, in this process, we can also discover what positive things we have done. This inventory gives us the full spectrum of who we have been until this moment.
Don’t let the guilt overwhelm you but don’t wash it away. ~Father Martin
In the second part, Father Martin guides us in discovering how an alcoholic can deal with guilt. In his eyes, only when one has resolved guilt by being forgiven can the person move past it. Staying sober with unresolved guilt of past is very difficult.
There is nothing too big that God can’t forgive. ~ Father Martin
In the last part, Father Martin talks about how one can ask for forgiveness. It seems like there needs to be a few elements aligned in order for the apology to be effective. Father Martin talks about the most important component being honesty. The apology needs to come straight from the heart. We are not asked to justify our past behavior. We are asked to take responsibility for our behavior and give an honest apology. It is not about explaining the reasons for our behavior but simply apologizing for it. A great way of showing one’s honesty is to accept paying the consequences, whatever that may be, to make it right again.
Another very important thing Father Martin talks about is the timing. If one is not ready, it will show in the deepness of the apology. This is why there are 8 steps before to make sure the alcoholic is ready to make amends with people in Step 9. Click here to read about Step 9.
Father Martin ends his talk reminding us of an important element. He alerts us on the possibility of our apology not being accepted. He clarifies that the apology is made essentially for the alcoholic in recovery. This step helps the person to be free from the past and be able to move on.
Therefore, it is important that we don’t hold any expectations of the outcome. We simply cannot control what other people will do with our apology. This shouldn't stop us from making amends with people we've hurt because it will help our healing process.
Thanks to Father Martin, I have enjoyed the new understanding that comes from his discussion on forgiveness. I feel like I have understand more clearly what forgiveness is and it’s importance in sobriety. I am now ready to learn more about recovery, which will be the next movie of Father Martin called Getting Back to the Basics.
Serenity Vista Addiction Recovery Retreat is a private pay, holistic, 12 Step based alcohol, nicotine and other drug rehab located in tropical Panama. Serenity Vista uses a variety of tools to help you on your recovery journey. Serenity Vista's robust audio visual library includes the full set of Father Martin's life-changing films. Click here to learn more about how you can recover in luxury at an affordable price.
Written by Maya Morgan, internship student at Serenity Vista
Sign up for interesting and inspiring recovery news!
Contact us to get started on a new pathinquire Now
Get our free PDF guide on moving forward into the solution.