The Power of Acceptance: Embracing Change for a Brighter Future
When my husband and I first got married I knew about his family and the past. His father was a highly respected doctor by day but a mean alcoholic by night. We would stay up late into the night when my husband was in law school and talk about all the things we’d never do to our future children. I couldn't have foreseen our own need for addiction rehab someday.
It started simply enough, a drink after classes and maybe a few more on weekends. Once my husband graduated from law school though, his drinking escalated. He started coming home drunk and would verbally berate me.
I became his emotional ‘punching bag’ of sorts for the trials he had overcome during business hours.
I started spending more and more time at my mother’s house. One night my husband came home and his dinner wasn't ready, or the house wasn’t clean enough, or some other lame excuse and his verbal abuse spilled over into an alcoholic rage fueled physical assault.
Two years after our son was born, I walked out the door with another baby on the way. To my husband’s credit, 48 hours later he admitted himself to a local alcohol treatment facility for alcoholism. I was so proud of him that I moved our budding family back into our home immediately.
Unfortunately, my husband’s addiction treatment there wasn’t very comprehensive, and the root issues of his alcoholism and family of origin were not addressed. It was more like a detox where he got physically sober for a while, but not much else changed. He was not prepared for living life on life’s terms. He had no life living skills for staying sober.
Once word got out in our small community that my husband was in the facility, clients began to leave his law practice and our livelihood was threatened. Because he failed to learn new tools to living sober, his stay in the alcohol treatment facility almost ruined his career. He had no real recovery there, and the stress of ‘being outed’ as an alcoholic drove him right back into the arms of his bottle.
That was almost five years ago and I couldn't take it any longer. I was angry and fed up! I've seen marriages destroyed, families torn apart, and deaths all due to alcoholism, and I didn't want that in my life. Last week, I changed the locks on our doors and filed a restraining order against my husband. I wrote him a letter of explanation and left it on the door for when he got home.
I let my husband know he had let me down and worse, he had let his children down. I wasn't passive or caring in the letter either. He had hurt me and I wanted him to know it. He could drink himself to death and I wasn't going to try and stop him anymore!
If he wanted to ruin his life, he could ruin it alone and desolate. I was so depressed that I assumed he’d pick the bottle over me, as he had in the past.
It was a shock when my husband called me the next day. He says this time is different, that he will stick with whatever program I pick for him. I feel nervous about this! I want to find an affordable private rehab facility but it can't be here in our home town, or even our state. I love him far too much to make him suffer like that again.
I believe I am looking for an international addiction treatment center. Somewhere out of the country and a safe haven that doesn’t just face the addiction, but the whole person. I want a natural and holistic center that will help him with both body and mind.
I really just want our lives to be whole again. I desperately want our children to grow up knowing the man that I fell in love with. No child should have to grow up wondering when their father and role model will get out of addiction rehab again.
I know an international addiction center will be best, away from his mother and other enablers. I know I am an enabler, and I need to learn tools to recover too. Something has to change. I can't go on like this anymore!
I don't want to lose my husband but I won't watch him kill himself any longer. If he wants to get alcohol treatment then we will do it together emotionally. I will be waiting for him when he returns with open arms, but I will be working on myself, in the meantime.
I refuse to watch him die; I refuse to watch him kill himself and continue on a legacy of addiction.
My son, OUR son, will not be the next generation of addicts.I first googled how to get help for my spouse with an addiction problem. The tips were about practicing self care for myself, first, and then getting outside help for my spouse.
So I next googled getting him help at an international private-pay facility affordable alcohol treatment and found Serenity Vista in Panama. I have high expectations and so does my husband. We need a center that caters to our need for discretion and results.
What is our next step?
You are not alone in being affected by alcoholism in the family and it makes sense that you want your husband to go to a good rehab. There are many reasons why, for some people, like your husband, travelling to Panama for addiction treatment rehab provides the best solution. People travelling abroad to Serenity Vista in Panama know that their anonymity and confidentiality are assured.
The highly professional staff are empathetic and highly skilled counselors and facilitators from Canada and the United States who are skilled at treating addiction. The guests are never coddled, yet always treated with compassion. They are challenged, and encouraged.
The change is always remarkable. Transformational.Serenity Vista understands addiction, and they can help you or your loved one.
As a first step, invite your husband to fill out the Online Assessment Form. If we are a good fit for his needs, he could be here within the week. We will answer all his questions and help him each step of the way, right down to helping him find the best flight here.
We welcome his contact to find out more.
Sign up for interesting and inspiring recovery news!
Contact us to get started on a new pathinquire Now
Get our free PDF guide on moving forward into the solution.