The Power of Acceptance: Embracing Change for a Brighter Future
Growing up, Mom was always fun to be around. We had lots of people around the house, and she was a great hostess for parties. My friends all liked Mom and the casual atmosphere of our home. Alcohol was almost always the substrate of the fun. There was a lot of booze – but it seemed under control,(controlled drinking) and only on weekends. And vacations. Lots of vacations. I thought all families were like this, and it wasn't until my early adulthood that I began to see things differently.
I’m lucky; I don’t even really like the taste of alcohol. However, over the years I have learned a whole lot about alcoholism. Watching my family members and some friends and business associates, I know more than I wish I did. I've seen some abuse drugs and some drink booze. Some, a lot. And many seem to function pretty well, and others are obviously having negative consequences.
So, I've seen the progressive nature, first hand, of the disease of alcoholism. I've seen how good people can have a bad problem, but often deny they are struggling. Mom used to be pretty and she cared about how she looked. She was loving and vivacious. She is not the same woman today – in fact she looks a decade older than she is, in a bad way. She used to work out and get her hair done; now, sometimes she doesn’t even bother to wash. I hate to admit it, but I don't like going out with her - I sometimes feel embarrassed.
I don't really understand what's happening. Why my mother? She's a good person and has a good heart. I've read that alcohol affects women in different ways than men. Is that why? All I know for sure is that something is wrong, and she needs help!
When I was a little girl, I loved the time I spent with my Grandma. She adored me, and let me know it! She taught me to bake, and we would spend time in her garden. She was always sewing something. I wanted so badly for my kids to have that kind of quality time with their Grandma. The truth is, I don’t trust Mom with them any more. She complains that I don’t trust her with the grandkids, and she is right. We usually end up fighting about it; she is in a lot of denial.
One of my good friends went to an addiction treatment center. Wow, what a difference in her! She continues to go to AA and work her program, and her life has changed in dramatic and exciting ways. She is her old vibrant, happy self, with so much life and love. She positively glows with her gratitude and hope for life. I am grateful that she likes to spend time with my kids. Why can’t my mom do the same?? How can I get Mom to go to rehab too?
I thought an intervention with my mom would be a good idea. I had seen them work on TV, so I sought out some counseling. Because of the circumstances and our life situation, I was coached to forgo a 'real intervention', and just let mom know my feelings in an honest way. I hope she gets honest with herself and accepts help. Mom always loved to travel, with a penchant for the Latin countries. I found Serenity Vista Addiction Treatment Recovery Rehab in Panama online, and it seemed like the perfect place for her.
I told her I missed her, the sober, healthy mother I used to know, and that she was missing out on her grandchildren’s lives. I encouraged her to review the website of Serenity Vista – a different type of rehab. Mom would never go for cafeteria lines, white coats and dorm rooms with women coming from the street or the justice system. That is not the right place for my mom.
Serenity Vista is an intimate, private, discreet home-like setting in the mountain highlands of Panama. I want to go there myself!! I poured over the photos, and it is so beautiful. Boquete is a big ex-pat retirement community because of its temperate weather, no pollution, and friendly locals. Panama has a great infrastructure and it is safe and actually uses the US dollar for its currency.
It's run by Canadian expats with a passion for helping people with addiction, with an incredible professional staff. The program is entirely in english, with an incredible degree of individual attention. People go there from as close as Panama City, to as far as Australia, the UK, and many from North America. It's a truly unique, boutique international private alcohol & drug rehab.
I have given Mom the dignity and space to come to her own conclusion about treatment. She has the resources, and we made sure her passport was up to date. Mom still hasn’t decided, but I am hopeful that she will go. She actually smiled when we told her there was horseback riding and ziplining.
We have planted a seed, and when/if she says she is ready, we are ready to act immediately. Now, I will follow my own Al-Anon program, and detach from the outcome. I did a self assessment on codependency and learned a lot. Even that I deserve and could benefit from rehab too! I love my mom, but I can't force her to do anything. I know eventually she WILL quit drinking. I just hope it is before she dies.
For the discerning person who wants personalized and individualized holistic treatment, consider Panama as a destination for recovery. The team of professionals are empathetic, loving, and passionate about helping people in recovery.
Who do you want to tell about Serenity Vista as a treatment option? Perhaps your concern is for a different family member: a son, your daughter, or your father. Or maybe the more you look at another's drinking pattern, you realize you might need help yourself. Regardless, we are here for you and your loved ones, ready to help.
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